If Only We All Had Such Generous Hearts...

There once was a little girl who on her 6th birthday received $7 birthday money. She unhesitatingly gave 1 of those dollars to the Lord (her tithe). Then she received a duplicate gift with a gift receipt, which her mama told her they would go together to return it and she could use the money to get something else.

So one lovely Saturday, the whole family of five, and one on the way, piled in the van to go buy paint (because this particular mama happened to be in the nesting phase of pregnancy). They brought the item to return to the superstore. Upon arriving, the birthday child hopped out of her van with her mama, her remaining $6 in hand, and the item to be returned. They entered the store, and received the worth of the item on a gift card for $19.00. Happily, the mama began to lead her daughter to the toy and game section so she could decide how to spend her birthday money, but the daughter hesitated.

Mama: "What's wrong, honey?"
6 Year old: "Um..well..I was thinking that I would give some of my money to my sister, I bet she would really like to pick something out for herself, too."

So the mama called the papa and asked him to come inside the store with the other kids. This 3 year old (almost 4) was particularly happy to discover, at the generosity of her big sister, she now had her own money with which to buy something. Mama and Papa gazed over at each other, proud of their little generous girl.

So the happy family proceeded to the toy and games section. Mama and 6 year old went off deciding how to spend the $19 gift card, while the 3 year old went with her dad to find a way to spend her $6 cash.

Mama followed the birthday girl around as the little shopper added more and more things to the pile, asking her mama to calculate the total cost to make sure it was under $19.00.

Once all the items were selected, the family met up with each other and proceeded to the check out. Each child, with their money in hand, made their purchases. The older of the two, the birthday girl, had a huge grin on her face.

They took their bags, and before the family could even get out the door, the older child called out, "Okay, everyone! Wait! Come over here to the side!" She reached into her bag, and one by one pulled out an item and handed it to each of her younger sisters. The biggest item, a plastic golf set with 3 clubs and 3 golf balls, she declared it was for all 3 sisters to share together.

She had kept nothing for herself.

Moved by her big sister's generosity, the 3 year old then declared that the item she purchased with her $6 was really for her sisters.

Mama and Papa looked at each other and about cried.

Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me. (Matthew 18:3-5)


And they all went home and painted the new "Big Girl's Room" together.

Happy Birthday, Princess!

Six years ago today, we were blessed with the birth of our beautiful first child. To this day, she never ceases to amaze us! Happy Birthday, my Darling Girl!

(to explain the picture a bit: she is crazy about cooking, and so has finally received her first cookbook of her own, with a personalized apron and chef hat)

Birth: The Lord's Great Work Accomplished through a Woman

Yesterday I was blessed to observe my first birth since beginning my birth doula training. This makes 3 births (not my own) that I have observed in my adult life.

Over the course of several hours, I witnessed the woman go from gently rocking, to full out labor in the birth tub, with her loving husband right beside her every step of the way. He didn't stop once to take a drink of water for himself- he was focused intently on his wife's great task set before her. I was reminded of my own husband's dedication to me during my own labors.

I felt the contractions right along with her, and found myself breathing through them from my perch on the side of the room (I was shadowing a more experienced doula at this birth). I felt her pain and frustration when transition came, and things got really tough. I remember clearly what that phase is like in my own labors. It was then she asked her husband to pray over her, and he prayed a beautiful spontaneous prayer. All of us bowed our heads and prayed, too. Soon enough, with much sweat and tears, she soon welcomed her baby into her arms, and you could feel the immense joy that filled the room.

It is truly amazing to see a woman literally feel like she hit a brick wall, and then scale it.

Thank you, Lord, for your beautiful design of birth!

What to do when you feel discouraged

This post and video are too good not to share. Read the post, then watch the video at the end. The message is beyond powerful.

We are not called to win by perfect human standards, but we are called to finish the race.

Measuring Up

I wonder if it is a natural component of our humanism- that tendency to compare ourselves to others. Comparing isn't always bad, I think, if we use it as a motivation for setting reasonable goals for ourselves in areas we need to improve, and if it causes us to praise the good the Lord has done in others.

But when does comparing become a detriment to our mature self-improvement? When it gets us down. When it causes us to beat ourselves up about it. When it prevents us from doing God's will, out of fear of failure.

Humility is a true virtue: recognizing who we are before God, and the reality of what we are not capable of achieving without His help. However, humility needs to be accompanied by Hope in the Lord. We have to hope in His grace. We have to believe that for God, nothing is impossible, including what He can achieve THROUGH us, if we allow Him.

I don't think I am particularly smart in the academic sense. I got good grades in school (I even graduated Cum Laude), but looking back I think I was just good at passing the teacher and passing the test...not necessarily at assimilating and applying the "knowledge" that the education and high grades claimed to define in me. I do not find my grades that I achieved in college and the 1.5 years of graduate school courses to be a good assessment of how I really "measure up" in society. What do I have to rate myself by? The human tendency is to look at others like me, and see how well they remember, assimilate, and apply the things they learn, and how quickly they can recall intricate facts on the fly. I praise the Lord for these gifts in them, for I know He can use them well! But me? I am not good at remembering things. I can sound smart about the things I do remember...but according to my assessment I am far from being as advanced as others.

This has really been getting me down lately. You see, the Lord has very clearly asked me to study toward something. And that something requires a lot of applied knowledge. I have many doubts swarming in the back of my mind. Will I be able to adequately serve in this area? Will the knowledge and application just come to me? How will I measure up in this field? How will I fully be able to serve the souls under my care when I cannot recall important necessary facts as quickly as others can?

Yet, I know deep in my heart that if the Lord calls, He provides. I have no idea why He would call someone without all those wonderful gifts that I think are necessary for this field. And so I find myself asking, "Why me, Lord? What can I do?" Deep in the depths of my soul, I hear His answer, "Because I gave you the gift of Faith, and you trust me, and you love deeply." It is true that "Faith" seems to be my primary gift of the Holy Spirit...the Lord has made that much clear to me. But...I love? I am so imperfect at love. But loving IS something I can do. I can care for these souls with the love of Christ. And that love can fill the void of whatever details I may or may not "know." And that love can motivate me to perfect my weaknesses, knowing how it pleases the One I love.

Every year, my Regnum Christi teammates and I each draw a "patron card" that will be ours for that year. The Holy Spirit is truly at work here. Last Wednesday, with a prayer to the Holy Spirit, I drew mine. It didn't make sense to me right away (in terms of why the Holy Spirit intended that particular card for me). But typing this blog post, it suddenly makes enormous sense why the Holy Spirit selected this virtue and saint for me at this time.

At the top of the card, is the Virtue in bold print, followed by the definition, a prayer, and a quote by the accompanying patron saint for the year:

Love of God
Charity seizes our entire being, and by means of love, casts it into God. Charity makes man tend to God by uniting his affection to God in such a way that man no longer lives for himself, but for God.

Prayer: O Lord, grant that I may live my life in Your divine friendship.

"I am God's, He created me and is my beginning and my end."- Saint Teresa of the Andes. Feast day April 12th.


Yesterday, I did a little research on Saint Teresa of the Andes. I found many inspiring details about her faith and her life, the most interesting (to me) of which was probably her desire to please God in everything she did. It particularly noted that school did not come easy for her, but she threw herself into her studies because it would please God. She also sought to serve ALL souls around her, in her home, school, apostolic life, and later the convent, seeking only THEIR happiness.

Sounds pretty applicable to what I'm expressing here. I pray for an increase in Love of God this year. A love that makes me no longer live for myself, but totally and completely for God. A love that motivates my entire being, so that I can more fully accomplish the task set before me, living every aspect and all facets of my vocation to love in everything I do.

The Lord works in Mysterious Ways

...yet, if you're eyes are open, you may find those seemingly mysterious ways are more obvious! But often in our busy lives we walk with our eyes closed. Our mind is busy thinking of the next thing on our list (or the next 10 things on our list).

This is especially true in the life of a mother with young children. If we mother and wife and house keep with our spiritual eyes closed, though, then we will miss the full vision scope of the beautiful portrait that is our life! And how the Artist does love when His whole work is appreciated.

Are you aware of God's action in your daily life? Are you aware that He is ALWAYS present, with you at every moment, regardless of whether you choose to acknowledge Him or not? Its worth pondering. We should always be evaluating our spiritual eyesight.

Jesus, my Lord, open my eyes to the wonders of your Love. Reveal to me the countless ways you shower me with love, through my home, through my children, through circumstances, friends, events...you are always there. Draw my soul into you, Lord. How easily the eyes of my soul become unfocused. Teach me to come to you daily, in private prayer and meditation, and to better frequent your Holy Sacraments, which are Your healing tools, O' Great Physician.

Open my eyes, Lord. I want to see you. I want to see you in the joys, the smiles, the tears, the moments when I feel like I'm going to break. You are always there.

Thank you for loving me, sweet Jesus. Teach me to love you more.

Life goes on...and what a joy it is!

A few glances down this post, and you'll see why I have not posted recently! We were away for part of the Christmas holiday. My husband was off grad school and we were soaking up all the wonderful extra time with him. I am so blessed by my amazing husband!

A few days before Christmas, during a play date, our middle daughter fell into the coffee table, and ended up with stitches at the ER. You can see her stitches front and center on Christmas day. How I made it almost 6 years of children before this happened is a mystery to me...although I hear from friends that its because I have girls:)

We just received the surprising news that after 3 beautiful and amazing daughters, we have a son on the way! Of course, we would have greatly welcomed the gift of another daughter. This is, though, a neat and exciting "first" for us, after 8 years of marriage. He is due in May! Of course, we are busy preparing for our family to grow as the Lord expands our hearts! There are clothes to sort through, bedrooms to rearrange, and of course, since I'm totally nesting, A LOT of painting to be done!

The Lord has given me wonderful grace and appreciation for each of my children lately- so much so that I've fallen in love all over again with each one. Such delicate little souls in my care. Together, we have been enjoying discovering the great code that is the written word. My girls love to be read to, and the oldest has taken to attempting to decipher random words that she sees when we are out and about. She calls it her "Secret code" and says she is discovering the "key!" Yes, this analogy is of her own creation.

Another recent development is that the Lord has called me to take a big first step in a direction I thought impossible at this stage of my life: I am beginning birth doula training and studies. I have no expectations of being able to attend more than maybe a birth every other month or so, but after much discernment, and sure signs and doors opening I am confident the Lord is directing my steps. Its all for His glory, after all...not for mine. I cannot begin to describe the ways in which He's opening doors. Perhaps He won't use these skills for decades to come, until long after my kids are grown and gone...but it is evident to me that He intends this as part of my personal formation...for some reason...only He knows. I humbly step into this unknown.

So, I am preparing for my one evening a week workshop that begins soon, by writing, reading, and studying. The great thing is that this study has given me something personal to strive for and work on after the kids go to bed the several nights a week my husband is gone (as opposed to zoning out in front of purposeless TV or movies). I am enjoying reading by flashlight as I sit near my 1 year old (who falls asleep nearby), and doing my other research and responsibilities after the kids are asleep. This also encourages me to have my household duties accomplished by then...either that, or I study in between loads of laundry.

In addition to this, I've been asked to provide Natural Family Planning information and support to the women that my midwives serve in their practice. I've had to brush up on my NFP studies and have been gathering brochures and books that will be helpful in this ministry. I'll be hosting an informational session soon for these mothers. I cannot help but put in a plug here for how blessed I am by the amazing women I have met through my midwife's practice (including my midwife)...these women have taught me much about life, birth, mothering, and most importantly, faith and trust in God.

Wow, typing this out makes it really seem like a lot. Come to think of it, though, as I've been seeking growth in these areas the rest of my life has become more organized. Its a funny phenomenon...seems counter-intuitive. You'd think that more "stuff" means more stress and chaos. On the contrary, when I become more busy doing God's will (as opposed to becoming more busy for my own self-seeking purposes, outside of His will), He provides the grace for better use of time and better balance in all areas of life. I am, after all, first and foremost a Daughter of the Lord, wife and mother comes second to that, and anything else is extra. But, the Lord can and does call us to do things that we didn't imagine possible. I certainly wasn't seeking extra apostolate, or "work" outside the home...He's just evidently led me to this ministry, and at any point in time He may shut some of those doors again and say "not right now," and I'm okay with that. I sincerely want only to do His will.

Thank you for reading. Pray for me to do God's will always!