A Special Mary's Month this year

Every year our family has enjoyed practicing extra devotion to the Blessed Mother during the month of May. This year proved particularly special, and a quick overview will reveal why I haven't posted since April! On May 2, we commemorated the one year anniversary of our 2nd daughter's emergency surgery, and the day that Mary revealed her presence to us. We celebrated this special day with a procession to our backyard grotto, an abundance of flowers for Mary, a raising of our voices in "Hail Holy Queen" and a rosary gathered around our grotto. On Wednesday, May 9th, at 6:15 in the morning, after just 4 hours of labor we welcomed our first son into the world! He was born happily and safely at home in the water. His 3 big sisters were gathered around with smiles from ear to ear. This little guy literally has 3 little mamas for big sisters! One little peep from his lips and his sisters rush to his side in a split second from all areas of the house! He is our light and our joy, and is dedicated to Our Lady of the Rosary.

On Thursday, May 24, our 3rd daughter turned 2! She is dedicated to the child Mary.

Tomorrow, May 28, our 2nd daughter turns 4! She is dedicated to Mary Queen of Heaven. Tonight I reflect back on the night I labored with her inside, and how at her birth I feared for her life. It was after several Hail Mary's that she finally took her breath. She is also the one who remembers in detail how Mary "held her" during her surgeries last year. As I sit here tonight in my bed, with my little prince in a sleeping ball on my chest, and my 2 year old awaiting sleep nearby, I cannot help but reflect on the amazing gifts we have received this month in each of these blessings. Our family has grown with the addition of one more tiny person with tiny fingers and tiny toes, and therefore our hearts have also grown and expanded. Tonight my prayer is that I will never forget how very real Mary is for our family. How present she is. How true she is to her word. I do not deserve all these blessings: An amazing husband in whom I am growing more in awe and love with each day, and these 4 little people that fill my days with joy. I am unworthy of the honor of being entrusted with these souls that are on loan to me from the Creator. And yet, here they are, under my roof. And I remind myself that God's grace is sufficient. That with Him, in Him, and through Him, I can and will serve my family to the best of my ability, and He will take care of the rest.

Oh Blessed Mother, thank you for being my Mother every step along the way. With you by my side I walk a little straighter.

Thank the Lord for Noisy Kids and Dirty Dishes!

I wish I had heard this song last week during one of my consecutive meltdowns! What beautiful words.



Renews a mother's perspective when she's focusing too much on the noise and the mess. And by "she" I mean "me."

8 Years Ago today...

My Dear Husband,

Eight years ago today we made our vows before God and family.

My how we have grown (mentally, emotionally, and spiritually) in just 8 years! 8 years doesn't sound like a lot, but then again, when I think about how much we've been through, how much we've grown and changed, and how much has happened in our life together, it seems like it should be more! Here we are, about to have our 4th child, in just 8 years of marriage. You joked the other day that you wonder if we'll double that in another 8 years. Only God knows! What I do know is that these have been the best 8 years of my life, and that whatever happens in the coming years we will face hand in hand, together with Christ, as we continue the adventure that is our life! Christ has always been the center of our marriage, and if we have him, we have everything we need.

This weekend, we stood before Jesus in the Tabernacle and repeated the words of our Pastor to renew our vows once again. This difference this time, from 8 years ago, is evident in the picture. What joy it was to look into your eyes and renew my commitment to you, with our 3 little children around our legs, and the 1 in my belly kicking away.

Thank you for 8 amazing and wonderful years. You are a strong support and your faith is an inspiration. You amaze me, the way you love like Christ. You continuously give of yourself to me and the children, and never seem to grow tired of it! I pray that I may only grow more and more into the wife that you need and deserve. I pray that I may take good care of your children and raise them well. And I praise the Lord that He somehow deemed me worthy of such an amazing man to guide me, love me, and help me on my journey to Heaven.

I love you!

Finding the Balance of Online Time: a Discipline Desperately Needed

It has been several weeks since I last posted. Gosh time flies! I have not been able to for several reasons:

1) For lent I drastically reduced my allotted online time each day. This is a habit I hope will extend far past Lent as it has been very fruitful for me, my prayer life, and my family! Not to mention the house is a little cleaner, too. I do not allow myself to get on the computer in the morning until I've spent time in prayer and unhurried meditation. I may get on just before dinner for a few minutes, but otherwise it waits until after the children go to bed and after my own night prayers are finished. If my husband is home, the computer time gets bumped even more. Keeping my computer off for most of the day has helped me to keep my priorities straight. I also find it easier to give undivided and undistracted attention to my children- to really soak up my time with them, instead of hurrying through reading them a book just so I can get back to my computer.

2) I went away for 4 days on a lovely Ignatian Spiritual Exercises (a silent retreat)...which meant I needed several days to prepare myself and my family for my departure, and about a week to recover my family who missed me while I was away.

3) Just when I thought I'd get a chance to blog, I was called as a doula for two births last week! One was on Wednesday, the other on Saturday. Both were amazing and wonderful experiences that left me praising God for the miracle of human life and of the birth process! I'm expecting another birth anytime this week. That will complete my 3 certification births, and I will be ready for the break to welcome our own bouncing baby in May. My children have loved hearing about each birth and seeing pictures of the baby whose birth I was blessed to witness.

So my online presence may have diminished, but my prayer life is stronger, my family feels cared for, my Labor Doula training is done, and my marriage has had a lot of quality nurturing time in the evenings when we're both home.

Please pray for me that I may continue to put God, and my service of Him through serving others, FIRST above online time and distractions, every day of my life!
Pray that I may learn the delicate balance of appropriate use of online time...to use it always for furthering Christ's Kingdom in some way, and never for my own personal laziness or avoidance of duties. Christ has a mission for me, my husband, and our family, and unless I arm myself with plenty of prayer and practice growing in virtue in my daily home life, I will surely fail.

The Pondered Life

There is so much noise in today's world. And I'm not just speaking of the life of an adult. Children now are hurried from one activity to another, with noise constantly in their ears. Music, TV, games, rushing from place to place. And the question arises, what are we depriving our children of?

God speaks to us in the silence. I've heard it said that the world SCREAMS at us, and the Holy Spirit whispers. How can we hear the voice of God if we don't take the time to explore the silence? How will our children ever grow to appreciate the value of meditative prayer and silence if we fill their lives with constant noise now? How many children do you know that can really slow down, contemplate, reflect, observe, and grow as a human person?

The other day we packed our backpacks with nature journals, field guides, and a picnic, and discovered a lovely nearby pond we didn't know existed. No phones, no music, no friends to socialize with. It was just us. And what happened during that time is priceless.

We explored, walked, and soon discovered a peaceful place, a perfect place, a place that inspires quiet reflection, heart-to-heart conversation, quality time, and a whole lot of learning.

We observed the bark on a tree, the movement of the clouds across the sky (and the animals they resemble), the behavior of an earthworm, and were even visited by a friendly salamander.

But the most valuable lesson learned was in the silence.

Where life, and love, and the beauty of God's creation was contemplated, adored, studied, and each little soul was able to dig deep within themselves to find their Creator.

And I as mother was reminded of the importance of silence and personal reflection. As I breathed in the fresh crisp air, deep within my lungs, I felt renewed. Alive. Healed. As I watched each of my small innocent children discover for themselves the value of slowing down and reflecting, I found myself appreciating in them the beauty of God's creation of the human person, for He made us with a desire and an innate need to contemplate the Higher Things.

And have some laughs along the way (yes, my youngest IS trying to pull that root out of the ground).

In this treasured time, I fell in love with each of my children all over again.

And their hurried little hearts were able to heal in the stillness of that wonderful morning.

We are forever changed.

On the way home, as I listened to the repeated comments from the back about how much "fun" that was, and how "nice" it was, and "when can we go back?", I found myself reflecting on the real lesson that was learned that morning. We ventured out intending on discovering something interesting in nature to document in our nature journals, and instead we discovered something worth far greater: that of the importance of silence, stillness, calm, and meditation. More specifically, the importance of giving this great gift to my children when they are young. Because they might just grow up to be better and more well-rounded subjects of Christ's Kingdom if they have been allowed the time to do what every human truly desires...that of contemplating Higher Things.

Even secularly speaking, meditation is highly valued these days made evident by the yoga craze. How much more valuable, then, it is to give our children the opportunity to contemplate their life in reference to God. How much more they will learn about God's love for them. How much more they will grow as persons from touching base with their Father and Creator, their Savior and Redeemer, in the depths of Christian meditation.

So the greatest lesson we learned this week wasn't about bark, or worms, or salamanders. Rather, we rediscovered the importance of taking the time to ponder, to reflect, and to observe without distraction, without curriculum, without instruction. To really deeply and truly encounter the beauty that surrounds us.

You never know what you would otherwise be missing.

The Unlikely Servant

At this point (30+ weeks) in each of my pregnancies I've always secretly wondered why people wouldn't offer to help me with my groceries. I mean, when a woman is THIS pregnant and looks like she's going to pop, and is surrounded by several other younguns, you'd think that would make people stop and offer a hand. A store staff person may offer to help, but you'd be amazed how many customers or other people standing by loading their own cars just stare at you as you load your groceries.

Today I didn't have all my kids with me. I had left the 2 youngest (who were sick) at home with my sister, while I took 10 year old brother and 6 year old daughter to the grocery store. I wasn't particularly exhausted today.

With my cart full, I approached the long check out line at the same time as another customer. She had her teenage daughter with her, who appeared to just be along for the ride...you know...because she had to. She was dressed in her own unique style, with a nose ring and and ipod attached to her ears. Her mother signaled for me to go in front of her, nodding toward the kids I had with me. I assured her I wasn't in a hurry, and she was in fact in front of me, so she could go ahead.

As fate would have it, she forgot her wallet, and had to go to her car to get her cash. She then filed back in line behind me as my turn was already in action.

The cashier loaded my cart and wished me a good weekend, mentioning that she made sure "to pack the bags light" for me (noting my condition). I should mention, this is something I greatly appreciate from this cashier each week- she knows their bags break easily, and that a big pregnant woman doesn't need to be chasing groceries down her driveway!

Anyway, as I reached for my receipt, I heard a voice behind me gently say "would you like some help out with those?" I turned, expecting to see the usual Trader Joes staff offering to do their job. But, it was not a Trader Joes staff person. It was the teenager, nose ring and ipod. She blinked at me awaiting my response. I politely said, "Oh, wow, that is so kind of you. Um..." I saw that she was holding her earphones in her hand as she spoke to me. I almost said, quite honestly, that I'd be alright "but thanks anyway"...but I looked at her, in her eyes, and I saw something. Something kind, something generous, something loving. I saw...Christ.

So I said, "Sure, that would actually be really great." She smiled, and ran to her mom to let her know she'd be back.

She followed me to my car, then carefully loaded each bag (more careful than any Trader Joes staff person ever has), gently arranging each bag in the trunk of my van.

This girl was a witness to me. She turned off the noise in her head and was able to see that there was a need, and she was attentive to that.

I ask myself how able I am to detach from the noise in my own head (all my to-do lists, all my thoughts) in such a way as to be attentive to the needs of others.

Clicking around...

Apparently "Women's Health" means NOT having babies. Contraception- COVERED! Pregnancy and Birth- nope, sorry, you have to pay for that.

15 Rules to Live By, courtesy of Blessed Teresa of Calcutta.

The Church has Always Been Right about Birth Control!