As a child, Advent carried with it the excitement of waiting for Christmas (and lets be honest, for presents and for family time). But as an adult, this liturgical season has become my most favorite. Favorite, not because of holly and ivy, or decorations and treats, but favorite because it has become a time during which I really grow spiritually. Having children and desiring to build traditions surrounding the "REAL" purpose of Advent has certainly contributed in large to this sudden spiritual focus for my own soul. The things we have done "for the kids," have actually witnessed and formed us adults all the more!
Every year we try to take it another step further and do a little more. Taking baby steps has helped us not make big plans and then get discouraged when we can't "Do it all."
This year we:
1) Have been consistent with the lighting of our Advent Wreath, every night before dinner. There is a prayer, a lighting of the candles, and a verse of "O Come O Come Emmanuel" (which I assure you I sing horribly off key, but that's not the point). A friend just recommended that I give each of the kids bells to hold during this, and that during the prayer and the song they have to keep the bell very still and silent, and then at the part of the song when we sing "REJOICE! REJOICE!" they can ring the bells like crazy! I love this idea, and will be looking for bells this weekend. On Christmas morning, the kids come downstairs to find that the purple and pink advent candles have turned into white candles...and until Ephiphany, we light those candles each night with a special Christmas prayer and sing a song such as "Angels we have heard on high."
2) Have redoubled our effort for our family rosary as often as possible. The goal is every night, but Matt's not home every night, so sometimes I either do a rosary earlier in the day with the kids (in the car is the perfect opportunity) or we just do a decade together.
3) Each day we use the Magnificat Catholic Advent Calendar. The kids repeat and discuss the Bible verse for the day, and get to open a window.
4) We celebrated the Feast of St Nicholas on Dec 6th, and will celebrate the feast of St Lucy on the 13th (where our daughters will dress is white with red sashes and carry bread and treats to people). Also on the feast of St Lucy we will decorate our Tree (and hope it stays alive until Epiphany!). In addition, we gave special attention and honor to Mary on the Feast of the Immaculate Conception (which was yesterday).
5) On Christmas eve, the kids write letters to Baby Jesus (birthday letters), telling Him whatever they wish, but mostly telling him what they "give him" this Christmas. Then at Christmas Mass, the kids leave their letters in the manger at Church, in front of baby Jesus, which is always near the Tabernacle, and they whisper a Happy Birthday prayer to him. We've done this every year since our oldest was 2.
6) At the beginning of Advent, we sat down with the kids and read the Gospel Matthew 25:40, and the passage surrounding that, and discussed what Jesus meant by "Whatever you did for the least of my brothers, you did it to me." The kids then brainstormed ways we can live that this Advent, and we've gradually been crossing items off our list:
* To make cards for family members and friends who are either ill or may feel alone, and to mail it to them (if they live far) or bring it to them (if they live locally).
* To ask the Lord each morning to help us have a mind for kindness and self-giving in dealing and responding to each other.
* To make Christmas cards for the elderly sisters in the Infirmary and bring it to them on Christmas Eve, singing songs for them.
* To visit the Missionaries of Charity (The order that Blessed Teresa of Calcutta founded) and visit the 45 children they work with 3 days a week. (When I called the sisters actually asked us to make Christmas cookies for the children, and so we shall!).
* To make our fancy Christmas dinner as we do each year, but to bring it to someone who needs it more - and then eat something simple ourselves (I'll still make us a birthday cake for Jesus, though!).
(this is in the process of planning, and we've been praying for the Lord to reveal to us who to give our meal to. There is a possibility we'll be bringing it to some single pregnant mothers, but we won't know if they will be in town until the week of Christmas
Matt and I were quite amazed at what the children came up with. We merely made minor suggestions, and they took the ideas and FLEW! I think they are all attainable. And all of them have either been accomplished, or scheduled (I figure if I get it on the calendar, I'm more likely to follow through with it!).
I've enjoyed hearing from friends what they either are doing or hope to do, and I have gathered a lot of great ideas for us to add in the future. Next year I hope to add:
1) A Jesse Tree tradition
2) A cradle with a removable baby Jesus, so that we can take Jesus out until Christmas, and during Advent we can each make sacrifices and acts of kindness which we write on a tiny paper and put in the cradle to make a nice fluffy bed for baby Jesus by Christmas.
I'm less concerned about dealing with the secularization of Christmas in our culture. It is what it is...it is the culture we live in (every family throughout time has had their own challenges of the culture of their time). We do not believe in hiding from it, and we do not submit to it, either. We find that when we (as a family) focus enough on the
real reason for Advent (preparing our souls) and the real reason for Christmas (rejoicing for Christ), that we don't have to worry so much about our kids being consumed by the secular idea of Christmas (which of course is the pretend Santa in the North Pole and presents).
This is a sensitive issue for many families. My philosophy is "don't mess with people and their traditions!" I pass absolutely NO judgment on good Christian families who celebrate Santa to the max, nor do I pass judgment on families who choose to avoid anything and everything about "Santa." I have seen families who celebrate Santa to the max do so in a spirit of "letting their kids be kids" and those same kids grow up undamaged and faithful. I have also seen families do the opposite, and there is good to that as well! The Lord can use many different ways of drawing us close to him. Its interesting to note (I read recently) that a couple hundred years ago hardly anyone in our country celebrated Christmas. It was only when the invention of the secular Santa Claus came into play that Christmas became an excited holiday season for thousands (who previously didn't pay it much mind). I do not resent this at all. I see the good in it:
sometimes secular traditions can pave the way for more people to discover the real reason for the season. After all, God can bring goodness out of anything!
For us, we simply have found through prayer what works for us (at least we think we have), and we live it. We have decided that we don't want to hide from our culture. After all,
our kids have to grow up in our culture and know how to relate and respond to it so they can impact it for good. We do talk to them about things they might hear, and that its okay to pretend (kids do love to pretend, and we just make sure they know its okay to pretend as long as we understand its all in anticipation and excitement of Jesus' birth!..we don't get any more specific than just that). We have told them that the Spirit of St. Nicholas is very real and inflames our souls with the spirit of generosity at Christmas, all for the glory of the Christ child. We haven't specifically told them that WE are the ones who leave gifts in the stocking or presents out on Christmas morning, we just haven't made a big deal about it. Sometimes our oldest asks, "So...how exactly DO the gifts get in our stocking?," to which I respond, "hmm..what do you think?" and she says "I don't know" as she happily skips away. So far, our kids, while excited for presents, do wake up Christmas morning legitimately excited that "JESUS IS BORN!" and they rush to the manger to find baby Jesus carefully placed within it.
Oh and we do have a "Magic tree elf." It is truly just a cloth elf doll, similar to the "elf on a shelf" ones you see in stores, which we tuck into the center of the tree, sitting on a branch. On Christmas eve, as we sit around our tree and read the beginning of the Gospel of Luke. Then we stare at the lit tree, reflecting on the glory of the first Christmas. Then (coincidentally, just at bed time), the tree elf will "jump around" in anticipation that Jesus is about to be born. We don't see the elf jump, we just see a branch or two of the tree shake. When the kids see the branches of the Christmas tree begin to shake, that means they have to run to bed b/c Christmas is coming, and Jesus is about to be born! I never see my kids go to bed, and fall asleep, as quickly as they do on Christmas Eve. I wonder how long this will last?:)
Take all that I've shared with a grain of salt- its just what our own family is doing this year. We are always learning, expanding our traditions, and growing in our focus on Christ (at least I pray that we are!)...and we are always open to changing as the needs of our family change. I don't believe that "we have found the true way" or ANYTHING like it. I sincerely love that families, all inherently different, can express their Christmas devotion in various ways!
May you all have a Blessed Advent season. If anyone would like to share their own Advent or Christmas traditions, I would love to read about them!
