8 Years Ago today...

My Dear Husband,

Eight years ago today we made our vows before God and family.

My how we have grown (mentally, emotionally, and spiritually) in just 8 years! 8 years doesn't sound like a lot, but then again, when I think about how much we've been through, how much we've grown and changed, and how much has happened in our life together, it seems like it should be more! Here we are, about to have our 4th child, in just 8 years of marriage. You joked the other day that you wonder if we'll double that in another 8 years. Only God knows! What I do know is that these have been the best 8 years of my life, and that whatever happens in the coming years we will face hand in hand, together with Christ, as we continue the adventure that is our life! Christ has always been the center of our marriage, and if we have him, we have everything we need.

This weekend, we stood before Jesus in the Tabernacle and repeated the words of our Pastor to renew our vows once again. This difference this time, from 8 years ago, is evident in the picture. What joy it was to look into your eyes and renew my commitment to you, with our 3 little children around our legs, and the 1 in my belly kicking away.

Thank you for 8 amazing and wonderful years. You are a strong support and your faith is an inspiration. You amaze me, the way you love like Christ. You continuously give of yourself to me and the children, and never seem to grow tired of it! I pray that I may only grow more and more into the wife that you need and deserve. I pray that I may take good care of your children and raise them well. And I praise the Lord that He somehow deemed me worthy of such an amazing man to guide me, love me, and help me on my journey to Heaven.

I love you!

The Pondered Life

There is so much noise in today's world. And I'm not just speaking of the life of an adult. Children now are hurried from one activity to another, with noise constantly in their ears. Music, TV, games, rushing from place to place. And the question arises, what are we depriving our children of?

God speaks to us in the silence. I've heard it said that the world SCREAMS at us, and the Holy Spirit whispers. How can we hear the voice of God if we don't take the time to explore the silence? How will our children ever grow to appreciate the value of meditative prayer and silence if we fill their lives with constant noise now? How many children do you know that can really slow down, contemplate, reflect, observe, and grow as a human person?

The other day we packed our backpacks with nature journals, field guides, and a picnic, and discovered a lovely nearby pond we didn't know existed. No phones, no music, no friends to socialize with. It was just us. And what happened during that time is priceless.

We explored, walked, and soon discovered a peaceful place, a perfect place, a place that inspires quiet reflection, heart-to-heart conversation, quality time, and a whole lot of learning.

We observed the bark on a tree, the movement of the clouds across the sky (and the animals they resemble), the behavior of an earthworm, and were even visited by a friendly salamander.

But the most valuable lesson learned was in the silence.

Where life, and love, and the beauty of God's creation was contemplated, adored, studied, and each little soul was able to dig deep within themselves to find their Creator.

And I as mother was reminded of the importance of silence and personal reflection. As I breathed in the fresh crisp air, deep within my lungs, I felt renewed. Alive. Healed. As I watched each of my small innocent children discover for themselves the value of slowing down and reflecting, I found myself appreciating in them the beauty of God's creation of the human person, for He made us with a desire and an innate need to contemplate the Higher Things.

And have some laughs along the way (yes, my youngest IS trying to pull that root out of the ground).

In this treasured time, I fell in love with each of my children all over again.

And their hurried little hearts were able to heal in the stillness of that wonderful morning.

We are forever changed.

On the way home, as I listened to the repeated comments from the back about how much "fun" that was, and how "nice" it was, and "when can we go back?", I found myself reflecting on the real lesson that was learned that morning. We ventured out intending on discovering something interesting in nature to document in our nature journals, and instead we discovered something worth far greater: that of the importance of silence, stillness, calm, and meditation. More specifically, the importance of giving this great gift to my children when they are young. Because they might just grow up to be better and more well-rounded subjects of Christ's Kingdom if they have been allowed the time to do what every human truly desires...that of contemplating Higher Things.

Even secularly speaking, meditation is highly valued these days made evident by the yoga craze. How much more valuable, then, it is to give our children the opportunity to contemplate their life in reference to God. How much more they will learn about God's love for them. How much more they will grow as persons from touching base with their Father and Creator, their Savior and Redeemer, in the depths of Christian meditation.

So the greatest lesson we learned this week wasn't about bark, or worms, or salamanders. Rather, we rediscovered the importance of taking the time to ponder, to reflect, and to observe without distraction, without curriculum, without instruction. To really deeply and truly encounter the beauty that surrounds us.

You never know what you would otherwise be missing.

My favorite education author

This weekend we completely cleaned out, decluttered, and reorganized our office, with the help of some new shelves from IKEA. It is a relief to have this finished!

In the process, I came across the books I have mentioned before that I had lost for some time: those of John Holt, "Learning all the Time," "How Children Learn," and "How Children Fail."

He is without mistake my favorite author on the education of children. Without even knowing it, his approach hits on a core understanding of the whole human person, how the Creator Himself designed us with a desire for knowledge and an amazing ability to use the resources around us to learn.

I want to share briefly (and I will try to be brief) a few excerpts from the first part of "Learning all the Time" that I have enjoyed this morning. If they appeal to you, by all means, order the book! I'll venture to say you won't regret it.

In John Holt's words:
"[This] book will be a demonstration that children, without being coerced or manipulated, or being put in exotic, specially prepared environments, or having their thinking planned or ordered for them, can, will, and do pick up from the world around them important information about what we call the Basics. It will also demonstrate that "ordinary" people, without special training and often without large amounts of schooling themselves, can give their children whatever slight assistance may be needed to help them in their exploration of the world, and that to do this task requires no more than a little tact, patience, attention, and readily available information."

And on the following page, "This is not a book about 'How to Help Your Child Succeed in School.' It is a book about children learning By learning I mean making more sense of the world around them. (let me try this again) Learning, to me, means making more sense of the world around us, and being able to do more things in it. Success in school means remembering the answers to teacher's questions, getting clever about guessing what answers they will ask, and about how to fool them when you don't know the answers. In this book I will for the most part be discussing...things we might do to make various aspects of the world more accessible, interesting, and transparent to children."

The first chapter, which I am currently re-reading, and enjoying just as much if not more than the first time I read it 5 years ago, is on Reading and Trust, Discovering Letters, Exploring words, and true reading readiness. It is filled with Holt's own interesting observations and experiences as a well-known and largely respected educator of his time (this book was written in the 80's).

O, how it lays my mind at ease and puts me in the proper mindset to approach my children with an attitude that far better supports THEM, as PERSONS, searching for confidence and support as they embark into the wonderful world of print.

Rest assured, I am not turning this blog into an education-philosophy blog. But this is a part of who I am, a part deeply intertwined in my faith, by which I have found gives breath and life to the truth of the human person as taught by the Church. By approaching the education of my children in this way, with this basis, I am testifying to the Love of Christ in them because I am understanding, respecting, and appreciating each one's unique and amazing ability TO LEARN without ME (or anyone for that matter) being one who teaches them to split back answers without truly understanding, without truly learning. Every day, my husband and I pray that we will educate our children in such a way that gives Glory to the Lord, and best prepares them for the unique vocation He has for each of them. And this is the path we're being led on. This is where Christ is leading us. Us. Our unique family. And so we leap forward in confidence, looking always to Christ as we go along, and being open to how He leads us.

Lillian Travis: A Testimony to Love

Last Tuesday night, at the age of 97, my Great-Grandmother passed away peacefully. She is pictured above in the blue dress 1st with all the Women and children on that side of the family, and then 2nd with my Granny, my mother, myself, and my first daughter about a year and a half ago.

I cannot describe the emptiness that I feel in my heart, but any of you who have experienced the death of a loved one in your lifetime knows what I am talking about. It is a feeling of emptiness, of loneliness, because that loved one is no longer present on this earth. I feel deep gratitude to my Father and Creator for blessing me with a living Great-Grandmother for all these years. She was a bright, baby-blue eyed woman with a fiery sense of humor, a peaceful whit, and a knack for winning Canasta. When I was a small child, I played many a game of checkers with her. "I CHALLENGE you to a game of Checkers, Jessica," she would say. "I'm going to CLOBBER you!" I have three gifts that she gave me when I was a child. My room was the designated guest room when she would visit my family, and she never left without a gift of gratitude on a nicely made and pressed bed spread. The first that she left me was a hard-cover classic version of Anne of Green Gables, and the second was the book Kim. One time she left me a tiny pin cushion outlined with lace. I still have all these things today, and am saving them for my daughters someday.

Great-Granny was a peaceful woman, and I would often catch her sitting quietly on the couch starring out the window, as if to reflect on life and love. And I could tell that nothing gave her greater joy in her old age than to sit and observe, as if a fly on the wall, her great-grand children's children playing nearby. She was a contemplative woman. Once she said to me that she loved when her flight would be delayed. When I shot her a quizzical look, wondering why anyone would be happy about a flight being delayed, she explained, "Haven't you ever just people watched? I just love to people watch. The Airport is the best place for that. I just sit and wonder where each one is going, what their story is, and who they are."

And I cannot conclude without mentioning the laughing attacks that I know she passed to my mother's mother, my mother, her sisters, and myself. When something tickled her humor just the right way, she would laugh, deeply, breathlessly, eyes welling up with tears of emmense and uncontrollable laughter- even if no one else was laughing! We call it the laughing attack. It is contagious, but it can only come from a soul that is deeply rooted in a love for life.

But above all the checkers and card games, above all the peaceful chats, above the little gifts she left for me, and the laughing attacks, I will always remember the love she had in her eyes for each family member. Her blue eyes had a depth to them. A depth that spoke without words. I am reminded of something that St. Francis of Assisi once said: "Preach the Gospel at all times, and if necessary use words."

This, my friends, is what it means to testify to love. Sure, some of it has to do with what words we say, but that's not the bottom line. It has to be in our heart. And if love is truly in our hearts, then words will rarely be necessary.

These are my thoughts for today, as I pack my bags to visit my Great-Grandmother's home one last time, and to show my respect and gratitude to God for her long and fruitful life.

Lord, may the soul of your faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace...and may we always remember that we are walking testimonies of your love in all that we think, in all that we say, and in all that we do, and may I grow to live, to laugh, and to love as deeply as Lillian Travis did. Amen.