The Pondered Life

There is so much noise in today's world. And I'm not just speaking of the life of an adult. Children now are hurried from one activity to another, with noise constantly in their ears. Music, TV, games, rushing from place to place. And the question arises, what are we depriving our children of?

God speaks to us in the silence. I've heard it said that the world SCREAMS at us, and the Holy Spirit whispers. How can we hear the voice of God if we don't take the time to explore the silence? How will our children ever grow to appreciate the value of meditative prayer and silence if we fill their lives with constant noise now? How many children do you know that can really slow down, contemplate, reflect, observe, and grow as a human person?

The other day we packed our backpacks with nature journals, field guides, and a picnic, and discovered a lovely nearby pond we didn't know existed. No phones, no music, no friends to socialize with. It was just us. And what happened during that time is priceless.

We explored, walked, and soon discovered a peaceful place, a perfect place, a place that inspires quiet reflection, heart-to-heart conversation, quality time, and a whole lot of learning.

We observed the bark on a tree, the movement of the clouds across the sky (and the animals they resemble), the behavior of an earthworm, and were even visited by a friendly salamander.

But the most valuable lesson learned was in the silence.

Where life, and love, and the beauty of God's creation was contemplated, adored, studied, and each little soul was able to dig deep within themselves to find their Creator.

And I as mother was reminded of the importance of silence and personal reflection. As I breathed in the fresh crisp air, deep within my lungs, I felt renewed. Alive. Healed. As I watched each of my small innocent children discover for themselves the value of slowing down and reflecting, I found myself appreciating in them the beauty of God's creation of the human person, for He made us with a desire and an innate need to contemplate the Higher Things.

And have some laughs along the way (yes, my youngest IS trying to pull that root out of the ground).

In this treasured time, I fell in love with each of my children all over again.

And their hurried little hearts were able to heal in the stillness of that wonderful morning.

We are forever changed.

On the way home, as I listened to the repeated comments from the back about how much "fun" that was, and how "nice" it was, and "when can we go back?", I found myself reflecting on the real lesson that was learned that morning. We ventured out intending on discovering something interesting in nature to document in our nature journals, and instead we discovered something worth far greater: that of the importance of silence, stillness, calm, and meditation. More specifically, the importance of giving this great gift to my children when they are young. Because they might just grow up to be better and more well-rounded subjects of Christ's Kingdom if they have been allowed the time to do what every human truly desires...that of contemplating Higher Things.

Even secularly speaking, meditation is highly valued these days made evident by the yoga craze. How much more valuable, then, it is to give our children the opportunity to contemplate their life in reference to God. How much more they will learn about God's love for them. How much more they will grow as persons from touching base with their Father and Creator, their Savior and Redeemer, in the depths of Christian meditation.

So the greatest lesson we learned this week wasn't about bark, or worms, or salamanders. Rather, we rediscovered the importance of taking the time to ponder, to reflect, and to observe without distraction, without curriculum, without instruction. To really deeply and truly encounter the beauty that surrounds us.

You never know what you would otherwise be missing.

Birth: The Lord's Great Work Accomplished through a Woman

Yesterday I was blessed to observe my first birth since beginning my birth doula training. This makes 3 births (not my own) that I have observed in my adult life.

Over the course of several hours, I witnessed the woman go from gently rocking, to full out labor in the birth tub, with her loving husband right beside her every step of the way. He didn't stop once to take a drink of water for himself- he was focused intently on his wife's great task set before her. I was reminded of my own husband's dedication to me during my own labors.

I felt the contractions right along with her, and found myself breathing through them from my perch on the side of the room (I was shadowing a more experienced doula at this birth). I felt her pain and frustration when transition came, and things got really tough. I remember clearly what that phase is like in my own labors. It was then she asked her husband to pray over her, and he prayed a beautiful spontaneous prayer. All of us bowed our heads and prayed, too. Soon enough, with much sweat and tears, she soon welcomed her baby into her arms, and you could feel the immense joy that filled the room.

It is truly amazing to see a woman literally feel like she hit a brick wall, and then scale it.

Thank you, Lord, for your beautiful design of birth!

What to do when you feel discouraged

This post and video are too good not to share. Read the post, then watch the video at the end. The message is beyond powerful.

We are not called to win by perfect human standards, but we are called to finish the race.

Peace amidst the chaos

"Peace" is one of those things that I usually dream of, and wonder what it must be like. After all, I have 3 young children, a husband working full time AND attending graduate school, and a hopping house! But interior peace is something of a gift. It is a particular grace that I specifically prayed for recently, and though I'm not sure why the Lord deemed me worthy, alas the grace of peace is abounding. The last few days I have felt this wonderful interior peace, the kind that doesn't disturb easily because its rooted in the right place. The kind of peace that comes from knowing that most of my "stress" is about things that really don't matter in the great scheme of eternity. And yes, they are legitimate human stresses.

Money...huge human stress. Bills. Oh yes, you all know what I'm talking about, especially any of you who know what's it like to receive an onslaught of medical bills for months in a row. Marriage...has its moments. Parenting...has its moments. Daily chores and housekeeping...I hesitate to even go there. Social stresses, such as trying to decide which homeschool group to integrate further into, and what the Lord's will is for us in that regard.

I can't really explain what it is, if I have to narrow it down to how I feel so at peace amidst all this. But I believe that is because there is no human explanation except that God is amazing, and there are times of separation (where its hard to know if He's even there- those times that really test your faith), and times of fulfillment. And that God, in His immense goodness, never refuses to give us something that He determines is good for us.

I don't think there is anything particularly "right" I did to get here. Nor do I think it will, or should, last very long. All I know is that right now, in this present moment (days, really), I feel SO at peace. And that translates into a better demeanor toward my husband and children, and a better attitude and ability to accomplish whatever housework I can (in all honesty, being honest with myself about what I can accomplish without being lazy or going over the top). This balance I know comes from Christ. My circumstances haven't changed, I just have the grace to face them better.

We've had a wonderful few days. The rhythm of our activities have been smooth and pleasurable. I have kept up with my responsibilities in the home (without going over the top- I'm not trying to fool anyone- I do NOT have sparkly floors and ALL the laundry done, but I have done a few loads, and managed to keep the kitchen sink empty and clean- this is a huge accomplishment for me). I have also thoroughly enjoyed every moment with my children! Are they perfect? No. Am I? Certainly not. But whatever comes our way, I've been able to face it peacefully, becoming stern (though not angry) when necessary, humble when I'm wrong, and patient when its needed most. And the gentleness has come so naturally. Energy, too...I've been able to accomplish more than I thought I could in a day.

And my marriage...well, I learned something last weekend in Spiritual Direction with a wonderful priest whom we were blessed to have over for dinner. He gave me some excellent points to meditate on. Points that are hard not to share...perhaps I'll share more another time. For now, since I know my husband reads this, lets keep it a mystery so I can continue to work on it.

And you know what? I just realized that all of this has to be a fruit of my virtue for this year. I attend an annual Spiritual Exercises retreat, during which I craft a "program of life." You identify your root sin and then year after year you choose a virtue with means for attaining it that will, year by year, gradually take the edge off my root sin. Anyhow, without turning this into a Confessional, I can say that my virtue for this year is "Simplicity." The definition of simplicity as a Christian virtue is: rely on God for everything, answers are simple (yes/no), conduct is simple, lean on God for everything, fear nothing because you know God is there.

I have struggled with this one. I tend to allow the passion to get the best of me in moments of challenge, and I am horrible at maintaining that eternal perspective. But for whatever reason, the Lord has blessed me with the grace to know what true simplicity is like (and that inner peace that comes from it). I am humbled by this gift of peace, and grateful for it. I pray that I can use it to His glory in some way. But I also have no doubt that soon the plug will be pulled, and I will, in the true spirit of spiritual growth, once again be challenged to pursue the virtue even when I don't feel it, and even when its hardest. Perhaps the Lord allowed me to feel the peace so that I know better exactly what to pursue? I don't know...but I'm grateful nonetheless, as I will also be grateful when the "easy" part is over and its time to work at the virtue more intensely. Another opportunity to rely on the Lord!

God is good...so good.