After an almost 2 year hiatus from the blogosphere (not that long in the grand scheme of life, right?), I am back! To begin to explain why I haven't posted in so long would take too much space...I don't think there are enough gigabytes. The short summary of it is: I have been living. Living a quiet life of checking in occasionally on some of my personal favorite blogs and sites which I follow, but mostly just living the beautiful, amazing, complicated (and yet simple at the same time) life of learning to focus on the needs of my ever growing family without intentionally drawing attention from the outside world. I take this step back into the blog world hesitantly. I hesitate not because I distrust anyone else, but because I distrust myself. All too easily can my intention lose its purity, and a blog post goes from innocent reflection and sharing, to looking for public justification and approval for the various aspects of my life. To the shame of my vanity, I have decided to blog again...not because I want attention, or approval, or popularity, but because I want to purify my intention even further. To write for the Lord only, and if anyone happens to read along the way I pray that He will use my imperfect life made public on the blog for His glory...somehow, someway (if even only to put myself out on the line so others can see how unworthy and imperfect I am!).
So let me begin this new segment of my blog-life with one specific clarification. I suppose in the past 2 years, hidden outside the blog world, and in trying to live my life "Testifying to Love," all I have really learned is how imperfect I am at testifying to love. I began my motherhood journey with a bang of enthusiasm and apostolic energy to live my vocation as wife, mother, and apostle FULLY. I was going to give myself to the Lord and be His witness to Love in all things. And then...somewhere along the line of having 3 little ones, my husband returning to graduate school while also working full time, the endless laundry, the impending homeschool decisions, and various personal challenges of faith, I have learned that choosing to testify to love is more than just a one-time enthusiastic choice, it is a constant re-commitment.
More on this later. Off to kiss those 3 precious little faces in my midst!
So glad to see you back, Jessica! Now I can move your blog from the "inactive" folder in my feed reader. :) May God bless your endeavor to share little bits of your life for His glory.
ReplyDeleteA constant re-commitment is exactly right! I find it is exhausting how often I have to recommit myself, and doing so just here or there doesn't cut it as a Catholic, a wife, a mother. I, too, had so many plans and things I was "sure of" when I first started this vocation, but the longer I am a wife and mother (five years now), the more I know I don't know.
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