I may be stating the obvious for those that know me, or have read my introduction above, but what none of you may realize is just how much of a musical my life really is. Being a former ballet dancer from a performing arts family may have something to do with it, I don't know.
Our life here on earth is a constant spiritual battle, and I try to be careful never to allow myself to get too comfortable, but to instead see my spiritual challenges or daily stresses as opportunities to cultivate virtue. Sounds easier than it is. Sometimes I just need to get pumped up. Anybody who grew up in the 80s is familiar with the song "Hit me with your best shot." Well, it is on my ipod, and when it just happens to come on while I'm out for an evening run it pumps me up. I imagine myself challenging satan with the threat, "come on, hit me with your best shot, I can take it, I have the Lord on my side and you can never win!"
For many of you this may sound childish or corny, but what you have to understand is that when I feel I've exhausted my prayer reserves, sometimes I just need a little humor to make my resolution to persevere more concrete. You should try it, you might be surprised at how effective it can be!
There are times in each day that I feel temptation grabbing at me. The temptation to give into my passions one way or another, whether it be to ignore the child who needs me just because its not a convenient time for me, or to ignore the piles of laundry just because I'm not in the mood, or to ignore an inspiration of the Holy Spirit to reach out to someone in need simply because "I don't have the time."
The reality is that every day is a spiritual battle. But bit by bit, Christ helps me to conquer my pride and vanity and through the experience of his love I am motivated to move forward.
Sometimes I encounter someone who is carrying a HUGE cross on their shoulders: an illness, the loss of a family member, strains in their marriage, a job lay-off, etc. And sometimes all they need is the experience of Christ to pull them through it. They need to experience Christ's love. And if I can somehow be that experience to them, if somehow they can feel Christ's personal love for them through me, than I have succeeded.
The important thing to remember is sometimes a person's cross may be invisible. They may be carrying a spiritual cross. The truth remains, Christ heals the deepest wounds. A smile, an act of love, a generous gesture, a loving sacrifice, a positive encouragement- these are all ways in which I have experienced Christ's love through others around me.
This week my spiritual battle has been with my children. How can I bring Christ to them in these moments of trial, when I fear we might rip each others eyes out? Okay, maybe its not that bad, but my times with my 3 year old and 1 year old can feel like that. Face it, we're a normal family! This afternoon, I leave with these thoughts: If I can be Christ to others outside my home, but not to my own husband and children, then I am a hypocrite. This afternoon I will search for 1 way to lovingly meet a need in each of family members that is costly to me (afterall, what good is giving anything if it costs me nothing?).
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