Savoring moments

In one day there are billions of moments. Moments that develop in real time, and moments that are never allowed to develop because we squash them before they can grow. With 3 young children in our house, A LOT of moments, or opportunities, rather, come about. Opportunities for quality time, for affection, for personal attention.

How rare is personal attention these days? How often do you talk to someone, and they look you in the eye (if at all) for but a moment before they peak at their cell phone to text someone. How busy we have gotten in our daily life that the PERSON (especially those little ones that matter the most) is overlooked. Is ignored. Or...worse, is pushed aside with a "uh huh" from you, eyes on your computer, mind elsewhere. I say this is worse because you respond as if you care, but the very smart child knows when he's the less important factor.

Now anyone who has children knows that children have a billion brilliant ideas every day. But listen (and even engage) to just one, and watch their eyes light up before you, an energy seeps through every fiber of their being. They are filled up with the satisfaction of knowing that they matter. And furthermore, that their ideas matter (even if they seem silly and insignificant to us). And even more than that, they have the inner confirmation that they, too, are capable of thinking, processing, planning, and executing (something they see is valuable in our society, and natural to their human person). I will insert a small disclaimer here that I am not declaring that every child's spoken idea should be acted upon. Its simply not possible, or realistic. But I do believe that a child's spoken idea should at least be considered, reflected upon, or even given an interested nod of "wow, you're excited about this" (regardless if you can't act on it now). There is a balance, because its good for our kids to learn that the family has needs, and everyone has to be considered. But...lets be honest. More often than not, I, for one, tend to the side of thinking more of the inconvenience something causes me, than the learning that could potentially happen in the meantime. And so...

I have been keenly aware of these such moments lately. The moments when an idea is burst out, with affirmative tone, so sure that it is bound to be something mom and dad will see as a "good" idea. So the question is: does that moment become a passing failed opportunity, undeveloped, and leave the child feeling inadequate...or does it evolve into a collection of moments worth savoring?

This was our "savored moment" yesterday. The room became dark as the storm clouds rolled overhead, and thunder roared loudly. Knowing that the kids have been afraid of such storms lately, I announced with as much excitement as I could muster, "Hey, lets have a tea party guys!" Now I must admit that the excited tone I took was somewhat forced. You see, I had had a long day and was exhausted (what day am I NOT exhausted by 6pm? What day am I not exhausted by 2pm, for that matter?). I was quite proud of myself for even suggesting a tea party under those circumstances. I thought to myself, "we'll keep is simple. No china, no snacks, just some tea." And of course, as I'm learning the kids always do, I was immediately challenged to expand on that moment. My oldest, 5 and 1/2, jumped up and down and squeeled, "I KNOW! LET'S HAVE A TEA PARTY IN THE CAMPING TENT IN OUR LIVING ROOM WITH COOKIES AND MINT TEA AND FANCY TEA SET!"
My immediate internal reaction was to think, Oh no, I don't feel like setting that old thing up. That's too much work (really, its not). I'm too exhausted (aren't I always?). What have I started? That will be so messy, how will I keep things from breaking? I don't like tight spaces...how will we all fit?

I remembered that I've been wanting to seize more moments like this and stop waiting until I'm "not exhausted"- because that won't happen until my kids are grown and its too late. Then, almost through my teeth I forced a "yes, let's do that."

What henceforth transpired was a delightful, not too messy, very creative and fun family tea party...in a small tent...in our living room. Nothing broke, nothing (much) spilled. And as for feeling cramped? I looked at my husband and he looked at me, and without words we said to each other, "THIS is our family, THIS is our life, THIS is totally worth it. Breath it in. Savor it. Someday it will be gone"

Someday our empty house will ache and beg to have young kids in it once again, teaching us to seize and savor these very precious, and ever fleeting moments in time.

In this moment, we...lived.